PHALLICAI

Garden State would’ve been a much better movie if when Natalie Portman put the headphones on Zach Braff, an episode of House Sadness played. Way to use my notes, Zach. Welcome to another episode of House Sadness. The scrubs get things started with some “WFM’s,” then it’s time to check in on everyone’s favorite convict in “The Kooky Case of Clemin,” then we hear “30 seconds of Michael Jordan and his favorite wieners: it’s a ball park franks commercial, they plump when you cook them, just like a bloated corpse,” then the scrubs fill in the blanks and give it a couple yanks (I don’t know) in “Bad Libs,” then we hear “60 seconds of yet another pizza head commercial, I have nothing to add,” then this episode gets named. So grab your headphones, go sleep with Dr. Cox’s wife and give this masterpiece a listen.

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